I can't even begin to say what a great time I had at this years GCLS Conference. All I can say is that the Cons are magical, purely magical. I laughed, I danced, I learned, and most importantly I met the greatest people. Last year I was a Con Virgin and I had the greatest time of my life. This year I was worried about not being a virgin bc when you're a Con Virgin Mercedes takes good care of you. You are well looked after and...well...I guess I need that because I'm sort of bashful. My worries, however, were all for naught. This Con experience out did last years 10 fold, if that is even possible. Last year I would have sworn it wasn't.
With that said let's move on to the trip home. First off, I hate to fly. I don't like to be encased like a sardine into a huge, heavy, metal thing that's 40,000 feet in the air...not my idea of fun. Even drugged up on Dramamine I'm chomping at the bit (although under the Dram influence I don't know where that bit is or if it's even mine), so when I'm rushing across an airport, lugging heavy baggage (so I can save $50), because I'm afraid I'm going to miss my flight, because it's only a 40 minute layover, to find out we are on a 2 hour delay, imagine my distress. For those of you who know me, come on...I know you can imagine it.
Luckily the woman I sat next to in the terminal was friendly.
Woman: Are you flying to Rochester?
Woman: We're on a 2 hour delay.
Me: Are you fucking kidding? [LOL. No I didn't say that, but I may have said "shit."]
Eventually, she remarked that she had to use the bathroom so I offered to watch her bags.
Woman: You don't mind?
Me: As long as there isn't a bomb in them. [Yes. I really said that.]
Woman: (nervous laughter) No, there's no bomb.
She was back rather quickly with a purpose.
Woman: Our gate's been changed.
Me: Are you kidding?
Me: You would think they could have announced it.
Woman: Maybe they did. It's so garbled you can't understand a shittin' thing they say.
So now we haul-ass across the airport to another gate. My arm is about to fall off from lugging my heavy bag and I'm getting a crick in my neck from my backpack, which is stuffed to the hilt.
When I finally touched down in Rochester I was tempted to drop to my knees and kiss the ground. I figured it was smooth sailing from here, but boy was I wrong. First I realized I had no cash to pay the thruway toll so I had to find an ATM. Mind you, it's 1:30am EST and I'd been up since 7am Texas time, so I'm tired. I found the ATM, found the shuttle (which stunk like pee), eventually found my ticket so the shuttle driver would know what lot I was parked in, and was so relieved when I was dropped at my little Hyundai Accent with the crunched in front right bumper. I never thought I would be so happy to see THAT car.
Because it's the wee hours of the morning there is no attendant. I'm at the exit ready to pay with my credit card only to realize I don't have my exit ticket. You know, the one that tells how long you've been there so you can pay, the one you NEED to get out. I know for a fact I put it on the dashboard when I left. Did it fall somewhere? Did it blow out the door when I opened it? WTH? So here I am, in front of me is the railroad gate thingie and behind me is another car. I can't say it didn't cross my mind to bust through it and make a quick get-a-way, but I live my life as an upstanding citizen (sigh) so that was (unfortunately) not an option.
At this point I need to tell the driver behind me that I need to back up, but when I try to open my car door I'm too close to the credit card thing-a-ma-jig and can't get out. I wave my arm out the door and the woman behind me yells "What?"
Me: I can't find my ticket. I need to back up.
She barely, barely backs up so I can barely reverse around her.
I pull aside, search through every Hess, Tacobell, and Dunkin Donut ticket on my car floor, search my wallet, drive back to my spot to see if it flew out my door when I had it open (the fates were playing with me bc there was a ticket on the ground but it was from Home Depot or something and it wasn't mine) then finally decided that I needed to wait for the next shuttle and tell the driver.
I did. He was great. After going through the drivers license thing and the credit card thing I drove another hour and 15 minutes, pulled into my driveway, and dropped into bed just before 4am Monday morning.
All's well that ends well. Now I know what that means.